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Monday, April 30, 2012

Ground Hog's Day

Ground Hog's Day.....

You know what that is, right? It's when one day, continues to repeat itself, everyday.

I wish my day off would repeat itself, but that's not really what's going on here. Instead, it goes a little something like this:

Wake up at the butt crack of dawn, to a little baby face, in my face, drooling through a mile-wide smile.

Baby decides it's a fabulous idea to head-butt me before grabbing the curtains and ripping them open, revealing the brightest light known to mankind. Good morning to you too, little one!

Get up, grab a cup of coffee, bleary eyed, while the baby makes a bee-line to the toilet. I think she wants to do water aerobics in that bowl, even though I've nailed it shut.

Grab my first, and only sip of HOT coffee of the morning before grabbing the baby to change her diaper.

Lie baby down to change her diaper, and realize those water aerobics have created Herculean strength in this tiny being, because she is strong! I cannot keep her still, or force her down. I somehow manage to change the shitty diaper, without getting any on the walls, and strap a new one on without duct taping her down, but it takes ten long minutes!

 As Lala gets ready for school, she says, "Mom, can you please do my laundry today?"

MY GOD, THE LAUNDRY!! I've decided everyone has to wear their clothes twice before putting it in the dirty hamper, because it is a bottomless pit of work for me! How many outfits can one person wear in a day? Let's review:

Gym clothes, school or work clothes and pajamas. Hello! That's 3 wardrobe changes in one day. Add towels, sheets and bath mats for all of us and there you go.....I am buried alive in laundry. I used to knock it out in one day, but I was spending 7 to 10 hours doing laundry. I've decided to do at least 2 loads a day and manage my time better.

Jump in the shower and get ready for work. Of course, my companion, the little one, will not let that happen without wanting to take one with me, so off we go.

Leave to train clients. Sit in traffic for hours....yay!

Getting. Sleepy. Need. A. Nap!! Not going to happen since I have the "Hummer" of baby car seats in my car, preventing my seat from lying down. I cannot fall asleep in a locked car, seated upright, for fear that some idiot would actually try and car jack me. 

Baby has been a trouper all day, so I take her to the park to get some "play" time (as if the whole day isn't a play day for a baby....shhhhh, we'll keep that to ourselves). Swing, swing, swing....okay time to go.

Head home in more traffic. Did I mention the commute is an hour long, without traffic?

Arrive home, exhausted, but still have to get a workout in. Please, someone hit the pause button on the day so I can take a 20 minute nap? Oh and dinner needs to be cooked for the family, since they're all sitting around waiting for me, with sad, droopy eyes, wondering when they'll be fed.

Fix dinner, eat a few scraps and head to get my pump on! Finally, some "me" time.

Plug in my ear buds and rock out to my music while lifting weights. In between sets, I play a few games on my phone. I notice the "monkey heads" looking at me like I'm a slacker. "Don't judge me you buffoon! I'm going to milk every minute of this break for what it's worth, because once I get back home, I am back on duty!"

Clean up the dishes. Hand the baby over to daddy to put her to sleep. My work is done and I can relax. Bliss!

Grab the remote, the laptop, and tune out the real world. Until, I notice the ant crawling across the computer screen.........

There is never just one ant. The search begins. Crawl around the floor, pull the sofa out and find the first of three trails. I will not deal with this crap this year!! They are becoming mutant ants, taking the poison I feed them back to the nest, and still survive. I'm over it!! Die,tiny F%#$ers!! Die!!

I assume the position on the couch, get really comfy, grab my trusted remote (I love my little buddy) and then start my show. I hear..........WAAAAAAAA coming from the back of the house and I. Give. Up! Time for bed.

Tomorrow will be another day, but it'll be Ground Hog's day all over again. I don't mind, though, because when it's all said and done, I have purpose, a family and a life I love living! I may not get to do the things I really want to do each day, but that's okay. That will change later in life, when I'm older, and can eat dinner at 4:30pm at Marie Calender's and be asleep by 7:30pm. In fact, if my hips don't fail me, I'll make sure to do my own water aerobics, wear adult diapers and make little Pumpkie take care of me! Now, that's what I'm talking about!!!

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