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Saturday, March 24, 2012

I want the Daddy job!

Perhaps I shouldn't whine about motherhood. After all, it's not like I've been blindsided this time around, and it IS something I signed up for. However, on occasion I would like to hide under the blankets and pretend I don't hear them.

My 13-year-old, Lala, thinks I am a taxi cab, but forgets to tip me every time I drive her around town. My 20-year-old, Pip, thinks I don't know what it's like to be her or her age. My 10 month old, Pumpkie, thinks the world of me. In fact, no one else will do. She is constantly wanting my attention, and crying if I'm not within eye shot. Luckily, by the time Pumpkie is 20, I will have loads of experience that nobody warned me about ahead of time.

Nobody tells you that you will have the thankless job that is Mom, 24/7, 365 days a year and never, ever ends. Not even at night when they are supposed to be sleeping. Sure, they tell you that you will have sleepless nights when they are under two years old, but they don't tell you about the sleepless nights from illness, nightmares, restlessness, potty training, hunger pangs, sleep overs, and missed curfews.

They certainly don't tell you or warn you that you will be tired from not only sleepless nights, but from running around after little ones all day long. They don't mention that the day seems endless 30 minutes into it because your little bundle of joy woke up on the wrong side of the bed, your older daughters have decided to cycle together and are grumpy from PMSing and you are their primary target! They don't tell you to have a plan, and be organized because you will have exactly 30 minutes of free time to whip through the house like a fairy, and clean it while your little one takes a nap.

They'll withhold the important piece of information too. You will not have anytime to get yourself put together most days. And on those days, you will have to choose between cleaning up the house or throwing some make-up on your pale face. They make it seem glamorous and perfect when they look like a million bucks and walk their put-together baby down to the playground, (while you have last night's dried drool on the side of your face) gushing over their perfect baby and their perfect life. It's a load of crap. No one wants to say how much it sucks to make the sacrifices that you make for your children, your spouse and your career. You are fortunate to have me as your friend and guide. I will not mislead you, I promise!

Your primary job is to raise these wonderful children into fantastic, responsible, law abiding citizens who become valuable contributors to our society. It is a huge undertaking and a massive job that requires skill, patience, drive, attention and love. BUT the one job that I really want....I want to be DADDY!

Daddy can do no wrong. He gets to swoop in and save the day. Everyone listens to him when he walks through the door. He gets to be the jokster, the good time Charlie, and the hero. He gets to go to work and make money, escaping all the whining, crying, demands, dirty diapers, taxi driving, complaining, homework and chores. Do you know what else he gets to do? He gets to play! He gets to hang out with the guys, play golf, play basketball, tune out, tune in, read, take naps and shower without anyone walking in. Yep! That's the job I want....sign me up!!

I propose that we have Mother's Day at least once a month. This once a year crap is NOT enough! Daddy gets to have his day pretty much everyday, so we should eliminate Father's Day altogether. On Mother's Day, we should have a 2 hour massage, a Cosmo, a manicure/pedicure, a Cosmo, dinner cooked for us while the rest of the family serves us and we should be able to have at least 3 hours to ourselves, with a few Cosmos. What do you ladies think?

All kidding aside, motherhood is not for the weak. The sacrifices that you make are often overlooked, unappreciated and undervalued. You will feel overwhelmed a lot of the time. You will feel like "this" phase will never end. It does and you go through a new phase. Personally, I struggled with building an adult relationship with my eldest. It's very hard for me to let go and allow my children to make their own mistakes. Eventually I will, and pray that I have done my job well and she can pick herself up and move on. It's probably the hardest stage for me. I feel like she's walking for the first time all over again. I know she is going to fall, but I want to be right there to make sure the blow isn't too bad.

Although it's the hardest job I have ever done, I do not regret one minute of it. I have a forum to rant, and rant I will. Because at the end of the day, I will sacrifice everything for those I love. Motherhood may be an endless, thankless job, but one that is so worth it!

Now, where did I put my drink?






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