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Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Are men on the entitlement program?

What is it about guys, that make them feel that they are on the entitlement program?

They work all day, come home exhausted, and then plop themselves in front of the TV, tuning out the world. They claim that they worked hard all day, that they just want to relax, and watch some TV.

Really? Because we worked hard all day long, too. Don't we deserve a little downtime? Instead, we have to take care of the kids, fix dinner, throw in some laundry, do dishes, and prepare lunches for the next day. This of course, on top of changing diapers, feeding the kids, who won't eat the dinner you are currently making, give them a bath, read them a bedtime story, brush their teeth, and manage to get them to bed. After they're in bed, we have to finish picking up, folding laundry, putting it away, and somehow, manage to get some more work done.

Ladies, do you feel me? I've been listening to you. This seems to be an imbalance across the land. One that we accept, to keep the peace, but inside we want to scream, INJUSTICE BE DAMNED!! How in the world is this fair?

Just today, I was talking to one of my clients, and she was telling me that her husband comes home after work and plops himself in front of the TV, not lifting a finger after his ass hits the cushion. It reminded me of someone.....oh yeah, ME!! I thought, my gosh, this goes on in other homes too? Well, I'll be damned!

Ladies, we need to figure out how to balance this stuff out. I really think we would be much more agreeable, less bitchy, less tired and more likely to be a lot more fun, if we actually had some help.

Guys, you might be the breadwinner, but that doesn't mean you get to suck up all the downtime. Be more helpful and take an hour to yourself, then give your lady a break. Maybe it's your turn to give baths, brush teeth, read bedtime stories and tuck the kids in. That will give your hard working lady some downtime. Then maybe, just maybe, she might want to spend some time with you at the end of the night. And if you're really lucky, she might even have sex with you, because she won't be quietly figuring out how to sneak rat poison into your food! You were helpful. Her knight in shining armour for the evening, helping her slay dragons, in the little people form.

Ladies, we need to speak up and ask for help. I am just as guilty, so I'm not preaching. I just know we take the silent approach, thinking we have to do it all. There is power in negotiation. I believe that it's important to figure out what works for your relationship and schedule, but for me I think I'm going to add some more things to my list. Lately, I've been coming home and working my tail off. Billy will then take the baby to bed, and I am up until 1:00am doing everything I need to do, including unwinding from the day. I think though, that I need to be smarter about sharing the "wealth", and asking him to take on more responsibilities at home.

 We have been trying to balance as we go along. I have come to realize, that as my workload increases, I have less downtime, and  have to adjust. I think it hit home last night, when at 9:30pm I ran into my neighbor in the laundry room. He said to me, "You are ALWAYS doing laundry. I feel so bad for you." I thought, "Jeez, is it that bad? I guess I am always doing laundry. Par for the course with five people in the house."

In my house, this shouldn't be a huge issue, when I bring it up. I think he will welcome the added responsibility (Yeah right) because he knows how hard I work (He's just happy he doesn't have to do it all) and he will want to help out (He says he'll help more during summer, when he's off. But I know that isn't true. He'll have volleyball, basketball and golf, combined with weekly poker games to do, exhausting him more and thereby causing him be too tired to lift a finger.). I will stay positive and fight the good fight (No you won't. You'll be passive-aggressive and blog about it)............Would someone knock the devil off my shoulder, please??? I'm tired of listening to her.....

Now, I must sign off and put the baby to bed, because Billy is at his weekly poker game. Dear Lord, give me the strength.............

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