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Thursday, June 7, 2012

Give me a break!!

Life around this house, for the past year, has been chaotic, crazy and often times overwhelming. Adjusting to living together, a new baby and blending a family, was a lot harder than you might expect. Lately though (dare I say it?), life has been pretty uneventful, smooth and most times easy going. Have we made it through that transitional time, or have we accepted each other, faults and all?

A few days ago, I recognized that I was bored with my life. I work, I'm with the kids. I work, I'm with the kids. Day after day, week after week. I have one day a week, in the evening, that I get "me" time. Some mothers do not need this time away from their family. They, of course, do not have MY family, and I am not a martyr. I feel there is no shame in saying that I need a weekly break from "these people that reside in my home".

Monday night, as we watched one of the playoff games, I am approached by my lover....

Billy: "Can I ask you for a favor?"
Me: (Knowing I'm about to be worked) "What kind of favor?"
Billy: "Commit to the favor first."
Me: (This must be a whopper!) "I won't commit to anything before knowing the details. What do you want?"
Billy: "JP......."
Me: (As I cut him off, knowing exactly what he wants) "Oh no. No, no, no, no! Billy this will be the fifth week in a row you've taken my ONLY day to myself, to go play golf!"
Billy: "Come on please. It hasn't been five weeks in a row. You're exaggerating!"

I whip out the calender and my phone, to go back to the text message he originally sent to me, pleading for me to give up the first Tuesday, so he could go play golf with his buddy, JP. As I counted he weeks and compared them to the text messages, I was wrong. Yep, W-R-O-N-G, wrong! This would make it SIX consecutive weeks he took my Tuesday. No trade outs, no exchanges. He simply took them. No wonder I was climbing the walls. I needed a huge break from the kids.

I let him go (because I am not evil), with the promise that he would tell JP that he had to pick a new day to golf. There are six other days in the week, that Billy can golf, but Tuesday's are my days. Then I did what any other self respecting woman would do in my situation.....I handed him the baby the very next morning, asked him to watch her while I went to work (he didn't have to go in that day), and then went to dinner with my girlfriend (taking his poker night). I can't tell you how amazing I feel today!

I wouldn't have done that a year ago. We were in transition. Life was harder and I felt I needed to be the one to suck it up. I no longer feel that way. I ask for help when I need it. We have learned to communicate better (always an improving area), respect what the other person needs, and do our best to give, without resentment, to each other. We want each other to be happy, as a couple, as parents and as individuals. That's why I let him go. We both got what we wanted, it just didn't happen the way it was scheduled to.

The kids are getting exactly what they need, as well. Lala is about to graduate from 8th grade next week. Belle is making new friends, and attending a new school in the fall. Pumpkie took her first real steps today, several times. That may worry some of you, thinking my world is about to get a whole lot worse. Don't worry. She's already into everything. Rather than crawling at lightening speed, chasing after me around the house, she now uses a walker (the kid version of an adult walker) and is chasing me with it. However, this new found freedom of hers is quite wonderful. She plays more independently for longer periods of time. Hallelujah!!

It's all good in the hood, over here. Nothing to pressing to report. Life may be a little on the boring side, but it's all good. I've had my share of drama over the last few years, and we are on a well deserved break from it all!!

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