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Monday, March 5, 2012

Manscaping? A do or a don't?

Today, I'd like to start a debate. I really want to know what the public thinks about something of great importance to me. I could never understand why this whole thing got started, and I'm not sure how many women stand by me in my thinking because I've heard time and time again, that a woman initiated the whole thing. My question is, why on earth would you want your man to do this?

Manscaping.  You've all heard the term before and I'm going there today! The question to shave one's body is what I'm most interested in. If you choose to clip back your body hair, then so be it. More power to you! But why, oh why, must you shave your arms, legs, chest and underarm hair? It's one of the things that makes you a man. Are you taping into your feminine side? Someone, for the love of God, please explain this to me!

As a woman, do you really find this attractive? As a man, do you really want to spend your time shaving endlessly in the shower each day?

OK, if you're a professional bodybuilder, professional swimmer or professional cyclist, I can totally see it. That's your job and it can interfere with the results of your sport. No worries. Got it.

But if you're Joe Schmo without a sport to turn to, why must you do this to yourself? I know exactly how long it takes me to shower and shave my parts and I start calculating the time it would take a man to do this and I women really want to be with a guy that spends more time grooming than she does?

I dated a few guys who actually liked doing this voluntarily. I was aghast! One guy in particular was an off season bodybuilder. I noticed that he didn't have chest hair (that was on my list after all) so I asked him if he shaves or does he naturally have no chest hair (that can happen and it's totally acceptable because those guys don't normally shave everything else!)? He told me "I use Nair." Confused, I sat there for a minute thinking about him spreading Nair all over his body, standing there naked for 10 minutes before jumping in the shower. I asked him why in the world he would do that to himself and he said "It's a sanitary thing more than vanity. I don't want to smell." Huh? OK, fine, if that's all you got. I will counter with this....which is more important to me? A guy wanting to "feel fresh" and looking like a prepubescent boy or being what he is and looking like a man? Hmmmm?

I'm not saying that walking around like the wolfman cometh is the right answer either. If you have some back hair, shave it. If you have some unwanted ear hair, then go for it, pluck away. Or if there's a little too much on the backside and you find your girl braiding while in the moment, then maybe it's time to pull out those trusted clippers and go to town. But for the most part, we like you just the way you are, or a trimmed down version of the real thing.

Last summer, Billy went to have a stress test done. He came back home and told me all about it and then showed me the two, half dollar sized spots they shaved on his chest. It looked like the scene from The 40 Year Old Virgin when Steve gets waxed. I felt kind of bad that he'd have to let that grow in. He went to the bathroom and I heard the clippers going. I started pacing. Literally pacing! I peeked in to ask what he was doing. He said "I'm just cutting back some so that it blends in more." Relieved he wasn't going to get rid of it all, I settled down. Then he pops out and shows me his work. WHAT THE F*&%??? It reminded me of Doctor Evil's cat in the Austin Powers series. You know the cat is supposed to have hair and yet it doesn't! It just wasn't right and it was a long summer before his chest hair grew in again. And I'll admit, there was some road rash involved and it wasn't pretty!

Maybe it's an age thing? After a certain age, women want their guys to be guys. That includes having them look like a dude, hair and all. Maybe it's a twenties something phase where the guys are usually in better shape, just coming out of collegiate sports and their metabolisms haven't betrayed them yet and the girls think they look better all waxed up. But when I see a thirty something linebacker in the NFL without any armpit hair, I shudder! He's supposed to be rough and tough and yet, he shaves his pits? You've got to be kidding me?

Guys, are you doing it because you think that's what women want? Is it something you want to do because society is telling us this is what's sexy? Women, what is it about a stubbly man that you find attractive? Isn't that like cuddling up with a more masculine you? Or am I missing something all together? Where do you stand on this topic? Send me your comments.

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